Vote For Your Bottom 20 US/AU/GB/CA Westerns


(tomas) #1

I couldn’t find a topic, which would deal with the lists of worst US westerns (only Bad Lt’s “Name your 5 worst US westerns” and you would certainly admit that five is not a sufficient number here) so, let’s do this in well-established twenty style.
To make it more interesting, you can add also Aussie and British entries, but no Canada!!! You hear me?! I don’t want to see any mounties in these lists! Only if they are crossovering like in Missouri Breaks, although they were pretty far out of their competency there.

Edit: I excluded Canada at first thinking that would be too many countries with too many movies allowed, but since there’s only few canadian westerns out there (as I found out) it probably doesn’t matter, so bring those mounties in. But that’s about it! No Kiwi westerns, you hear me?! And don’t even think about Slovakian westerns!


(tomas) #2

So, here’s mine:

  1. South Of Heaven, West Of Hell - western with plenty of famous names involved like Vince Vaughn, Billy Bob Thornton, Jane Fonda etc, which is hilariously awful, but funny to watch.
  2. Wild Bill (Walter Hill)
  3. Silverado
  4. Lighting Jack (Wincer)
  5. Bad Girls (Kaplan)
  6. Magnificent Seven Ride
  7. 3:10 To Yuma (remake)
  8. Chisum
  9. 100 Rifles
  10. Bandidas
  11. Jonah Hex
  12. Avenging Angel (Sorbo)
  13. Cowboys & Aliens
  14. Straight To Hell (Cox)
  15. Dollar For The Dead (Emilio Estevez)
  16. Angel And The Badman (Luke Perry)
  17. American Outlaws (Colin Farrell)
  18. Call Of The Wild (Rutger Hauer)
  19. War Wagon
  20. Bite The Bullet

(Andy) #3

What about Paint Your Wagon? :rofl:


(tomas) #4

Haven’t seen yet this gem… :sob:


#5

Aw … that’s a great adventure flick. :anguished:

There are tons of really bad ones on movies4men, ‘Age of the Gunslinger’ and many many more which never got a theatrical release, and rightly so.

But I think a bottom 20 should be movies which you’ve actually endured all the way, and not just spotted Kevin Sorbo or Willie Nelson and said “bottom” ? Anyway, this should be fun :crazy_face:


(tomas) #6

Well, I had to include some of the “better” westerns in my bottom list (like Bite the bullet or War wagon), because I haven’t seen that many bad westerns so far. But since I’m on the US western watchpath, I bet, some turkeys eventually turn up.


(tomas) #7

Believe me, I endured…


(Andy) #8

I actually kinda sorta liked this one.


(tomas) #9

As I noticed, many people like this. Maybe if there was different ending, maybe then I wouldn’t be so harsh on this film, but that ENDING is just horrrible!!! :star_struck::rofl:

And I mean dino horrible :sauropod:
At least for me.


#10

This is work in progress, as I know there are much worse, but here’s a start.

  1. Pale Rider
  2. Big Jake
  3. Dirty Dingus Magee
  4. Dances with Wolves (Kevin Costner’s squeaky voice)
  5. Wyatt Earp (Kevin Costner’s wig and squeaky voice)
  6. Silverado (Kevin Costner)
  7. Hang 'em High
  8. Young Guns
  9. Young Guns 2
  10. A Dollar for the Dead (also Emilio Estevez)
  11. Texas Across the River (Dean Martin)
  12. The Hallelujah Trail
  13. Four for Texas (The rat pack … unfunny tossers )
  14. Something Big (Dean Martin)
  15. Sergeants 3 (More rat pack crap)
  16. The Quick and the Dead
  17. Posse
  18. The Last Hard Men
  19. The Alamo (John Wayne version)
  20. The Train Robbers

(Andy) #11

At least Clint doesn’t SING in it :grin:

I want to see this just because I found out it was directed by Sam Raimi.


#12

At least there’d be some humour then … this is a permanent top 20 stinker, endured it on Blu Ray recently, it so amateurish, but not even in a funny way.

I’m not a fan of Clint’s own westerns generally, but most are watchable, this one’s a real chore. :anguished:


(tomas) #13

I almost put it in my list as well, but I couldn’t do it to Clint

Hahaha! Poor Kevin. I like him though.


#14

Liked his performance in ‘Open Range’, … huge improvement :laughing:


(scherpschutter) #15

I agree on those three, they’re absolutely awful

haven’t seen some of the others, or have no real opinion on them

I liked:

  1. Wild Bill (Walter Hill) - a lot
  2. Silverado
  3. Lighting Jack (Wincer)
  4. Bad Girls (Kaplan) - a little
  5. Magnificent Seven Ride - a little
  6. Chisum
  7. 100 Rifles - a lot

#16

Raquel makes it tolerable, and it’s nicely photographed, but it’s not really much good - I wanted to like it more :frowning:


#17

This DVD still lies unwatched on my shelf, staring back at me every day.


#18

How did Eastwood ever have a career after ‘singing’, (I use the term loosely) "I Talk to the Trees’ … it’s mindbogglingly bad! :rofl:


(tomas) #19

I thought it is Hill’s worst movie, but I’ll give it a rewatch one day.

And Silverado - can’t say it is bad or good it is just one of those types that are absolutely dull for me. I’ve seen it numerous times in tv, and after few months I couldn’t remember a single scene - well, except maybe for that one with Kevin Kline being shot in the underwear.


(Stanton) #20

As always in this kind of threads (books, videos etc) not many really worse films were named so far (if any), but a lot of good ones, even some really good ones.

But it’s fun of course …