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What is the most nonsensical SW quote that’s often on your mind? Some quotes are not just cheesy and squirm-inducing but also make no sense due to poor translation, bad improvisation, subpar dubbing, whatever the reason may be.
Mine is John Philip Law in Death Rides A Horse - “Hate is hate. There’s no two ways.”
Your reaction can range from utterly uncontrollable laughter to choking if you’re drinking something 
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My current favourite has to be from the end of Apocalypse Joe when someone asks Anthony Steffen why he is heading off to London and he replies: “I’ve got an appointment with a man named Shakespeare.”
This is corny enough by itself. But coming from Steffen it’s priceless. ;D
“Hate is hate. There’s no two ways.”
It makes sense.
Phil, I haven’t seen the Steffen one 
But I’m sure I’ll have a ball.
Goodfella… what does it mean? Hate is hate. This part is understandable. No two ways - what’s the other way? Love? Not fighting back? Anyway, I think I would be a fool to analyze this too deeply.
I see nothing laughable about this quote from DRAH as well.
Some quotes from Fidani’s movies are quite priceless, like this one from “Giu la testa… hombre”:
“I want Ironhead left to me, I change his name to Leadhead.” ;D
Beyond the Law is full of nonsensical lines, especially Van Cleef’s lines. I wonder who wrote the english dialogue for that movie.
“You just look like a soft little thing that doesn’t need any help…but the minute my back is turned you’re gonna out do me and ten others like me”.
What the fuck was that all about?
^ Col. Mortimer, yes, your quote is the perfect example of what I mean. Sometimes the syntax is off. Or they add more dialogue when it’s better that they re-write the lines. Or they do a direct translation of something that can’t be directly translated. Or they try to express a complex emotion or thought very awkwardly because they try to act/sound cool. Or they try to be witty and the actors don’t know how what tone to use for their lines due to poor direction.
Unfortunately, LVC had some horrible lines in his career despite being in some of the best films ever made. It’s not SW but one of his lines in The Magnificent Seven was something like this:
“Go tell him that I, Chris, degrade your woman.”
It was painful 
As for Goodfella and alko - for me, verbal expression should be succinct and obvious in any language. I’m sure there was a “meaning that made sense,” but in everyday English, the expression is off that your mind potentially wanders somewhere else.
Or the famous scene of where Mortimer tells Kinski the Hunchback to come back in ten minutes after he smokes.
“Remember me, amigo?” - Hunchback
Mortimer grunts no.
“Remember El Paso?” - Hunchback
Mortimer, “Small world.”
“Yes. Very, very bad.” - Hunchback
Is that the best they can come up with?
[quote=“Mrs Angel Eyes, post:7, topic:1343”]Or the famous scene of where Mortimer tells Kinski the Hunchback to come back in ten minutes after he smokes.
“Remember me, amigo?” - Hunchback
Mortimer grunts no.
“Remember El Paso?” - Hunchback
Mortimer, “Small world.”
“Yes. Very, very bad.” - Hunchback
Is that the best they can come up with? :([/quote]
I always heard the line as “Yes, and very, very bad.” Which not only makes sense but is also pretty cool imo.
I’m actually surprised at the responses here. I must be the exception here in thinking that some of these lines can be cleaned up a bit. :-\
“Small world”
“Yes, and very very bad”
That sure is a cool line, and so true, both for the spaghetti western world, and the real world 
The Lines are pretty cool cause Lee Van Cleef and Klaus Kinski are saying that. ;D
Not to forget:
Mortimer: Any trouble Boy?
Monco: No, old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It’s all right now.
;D
Yes I see what you mean. But in a way I think SW dialogue is meant to be a little unpolished. These are gritty dirty smelly tough guys talking, not refined and sophisticated gentlemen.
Still, SW dialogue can range from very good to very bad.
I always thought that Coburn’s “DUCK YOU SUCKER!” was pretty stupid. That was Leone’s fault haha.
[quote=“Mrs Angel Eyes, post:4, topic:1343”]Phil, I haven’t seen the Steffen one But I’m sure I’ll have a ball.
Goodfella… what does it mean? Hate is hate. This part is understandable. No two ways - what’s the other way? Love? Not fighting back? Anyway, I think I would be a fool to analyze this too deeply.[/quote]
Hes just saying no matter how you justify it, hate is hate.
this one is one of my favorites.
Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me.
[hands over a purse]
Angel Eyes: Oh I almost forgot. He payed me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you.
[they both laugh]
Angel Eyes: But you know the pity is when I’m paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.
Baker: Noo! Angel Eyes!
[he is shot through a pillow]
Excellent stuff! :).
[quote=“Dorado, post:14, topic:1343”]this one is one of my favorites.
Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me.
[hands over a purse]
Angel Eyes: Oh I almost forgot. He payed me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you.
[they both laugh]
Angel Eyes: But you know the pity is when I’m paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.
Baker: Noo! Angel Eyes!
[he is shot through a pillow][/quote]
What doesnt make sesne about that?
It makes sense. I just took the opportunity to name one of my favorite quotes.
Oh yes, I love it when my husband talks tough. He’s so efficient. ;D
Did that sound like a typical SW line?
I also wanted to add that SW dialogue isn’t exactly known for its intelligence or wit, right? With a few exceptions such as GBU which has some of the best dialogue in cinematic history IMO.
There was a reason why Jean-Louis Trintignant, a very respected actor, wanted to literally be “silent” in The Great Silence. I think he would gag if he had to say stuff like, “Yeah, I degrade your woman in this very, very bad world.”
I remember Lordradish pointing out a quote in apocalypse joe:
“I know I haven’t been a good Sheriff lately, But I’m gonna try a lot harder next time.”
Another gem from Beyond the Law:
I never heard nor seen so many bastards in all my life. You all talk like you got kicked in the head with a horse!. (or something like that)