The Last Western You Watched? ver.2.0

(kit saginaw) #201

Another Dan Ullman-script… Canyon River, 1956, in which I made a bet with myself during the opening-credits… There won’t be a ‘canyon’ and there won’t be a ‘river’. Only non-intrinsic shots of canyons and rivers. I was right.

The film starts-out with a huge plot-palpitation: Peter Graves is already plotting to kill and rob his friend-and-boss, George Montgomery for no believable reason. He tells a crooked land-baron that he’s “tired of being good.”

Meanwhile, for no believable reason, Montgomery has decided that Wyoming Winters are bad for Texas-cattle… so he sells his ranch and travels to Oregon on a cattle-buying trip, then will bring them back to breed with transplanted Texas-cattle. -All because he saw one halfbreed calf walking in Spring-snow.

The flaw is that Oregon Winters are slightly less milder than Texas Winters, so the cattle’s durability is the same The jet-stream brings the Arctic storms down over the Wyoming side of the Rockies. Intelligent audience-members know that Wyoming-cattlemen actually solved the Winter-problem by introducing cattle from Scotland.

Anyway, Graves makes a deal with the baron to split Montgomery’s herd after killing Montgomery on the drive back from Oregon. Of course, Graves has a change of heart as Ullman.concocts smarmy situations to show what a great guy Montgomery is. Graves tries to stop the ambush, but is killed by the baddies, who’re subsequently killed by a stampede… which is actually a collage of non-intrinsic shots of a stampede. The film rates a relatively awful 4-out-of-10. .

(tomas) #202

Comin At Ya! - jeez, that overuse of slow motion and everything pointing at a viewer, because we are making stupid 3D film is annoying as hell. But even besides that, this late spaghie is actually quite dull (dumb too) and derivative from start to the end - or just plain ridiculous. Those bats. What the fuck was that? :grin: The charm of previous Vanzi/Baldi/Anthony co-op is absent, so don’t expect something like fifth Stranger film, because this is a rather different approach. Like more boring different approach.

(kit saginaw) #203

Massacre Canyon, 1954… much more satisfyingly influential to the SW genre, because the plot is multi-layered and the characters have dozens of directions to choose from at any given moment. In fact, the top characters have 2-or-3 names and identities… resulting in the movie’s high re-watchability factor.

It’s all about three shady Cavalry-troopers and 2-wagonloads of rifles disguised as ‘supplies’, being smuggled-through Apache territory. And party about a stop at a ‘trading-post’, involving a peddler, who’s really a gunrunner trying to become a seller-of-white-women, the women themselves, who aren’t aware they’re being sold… a drunken Cavalry-officer who may be faking being a deserter, and a ‘Mexican’ hostess or ‘wife’, who is actually an Apache spy.

Guest-starring Guinn Williams in one of his best roles, with one of the best nicknames ever: Peaceful.

The ending canyon-shootout is sensational and logical to the authenticity of the backdrop that David Lang’s script presents. I rate the film a 7-out-of-10. Interest-sustaining.

(tomas) #204

Don’t Wait Django Shoot
This was one of the worst spaghies i’ve ever seen. I mean - the movie is comprised of multiple long scenes of people waiting for something to happen. But not in the kind of entertaining way as in OUTITW. And when finally that thing happens, every fucking one of the characters is moving veeery slowly. This is utter evil side of spaghetti western subgenre.

They are waiting.

They are still waiting.

If you think they are going to kill themselves in a spectacular fashion, no, they are just spectacularly waiting.

(tomas) #205

Actually, proper title for this spaghie would be “Don’t Shoot Django, Wait”.

(tomas) #206

La più grande rapina del west (1967), aka The Greatest Robbery In The West, also known as A Prayer For Django, or Halleluja For Django.
directed by Maurizio Lucidi.
Well, this spaghie has nothing to do with Corbucci’s gunslinger, we can blame for that Germans as usual. No worries, one day all those ridiculous and misleading Django titles will be eradicated, at least that is what Bible says.
Anyway, i started to watch this SW expecting something along the line with Demofilo Fidani expertise (well, Hunt Powers is present), but soon changed my attitude, because this SW turned out to be quite entertaining effort. It’s more of a drama than action-packed venture (townsfolk held as hostages by bandits), but script is cleverly written and keeps your attention from start to the final bullet exchange between Hilton and Powers, which is surprisingly inventive (unfortunately, can’t say that about following bigger shootout with gang members, which is kinda disappointing). Even without any recognizable music theme, sparse shootouts and the genre usual town and pits locations, it is a very recommendable piece.

(Stanton) #207

Actually for me one of the strengths of this fine little western, which belongs to those which show that El puro was not completely coincidental.

(tomas) #208

Well, i disagree, Stanton. Just look at the final scene. Long shot of bandits waiting for Django. Shot on Django riding to meet the bandits. Long shot of bandits waiting. Django riding. Bandits waiting. And finally when they meet everyone moves sooo slowly, that by now it is obvious, that Mulargia and his team had to stretch the movie like a spaghetti, because with that story told at normal speed they would have ended with a film much shorter. Like an hour shorter.

And El Puro was certainly not a coincidence, but there are imo other westerns that can prove it. (Like W Django.)

(Stanton) #209

I prefer this one to W Django. I think it has a quite interesting structure.

I wrote this not unclever comment for the DB:

Fine little SW made with prudence and without pretentiousness. Starting with dynamic scenes of riders accompanied by a galloping rhythm and ending with a dynamical circle of action, Don’t Wait, Django… Shoot! is in between built around static shots of several groups of waiting people, which are located at 5 places (two ranches, a hideout, a town and a chamber above the town). What the groups (or parts of the groups) set in motion is a bag with 10.000 $, and absolutely logical for a SW, every movement leads inevitably to betrayal and/or death.

It seems I noticed this waiting-thing also …

(tomas) #210

Sure. It’s hard not to notice. :wink:


“Don’t Wait Django, Shoot!” … someone should have said that to the director. I’m not a fan of this one either … but if you are a fan of waiting and waiting and waiting, I can recommend ‘Brother Outlaw’ (1971) Also by director Edoardo Mulargia - I was actually mesmerised by how bad this was and did watch/wait until the end. Never again though :slight_smile:

(Stanton) #212

Yes, Brother Outlaw is the one Spag of Mulargia which is pretty bad. Has the strong fidanesque feeling of the big total boredom.


That’s true - Must be a candidate for the top 20 worst SWs. Do we have such a list on SWDB?


There’s a bottom 20 thread yeah.

(Stanton) #215

Not necessarily. The one Crea which I have (tried) to watch is much worse, and some Fids are also way below.

(tomas) #216

Certainly. I’ve tried to watch On the third day Crow arrived only few days ago…

(Asa) #217



I’ve also attempted to watch ‘Arrived the Crow’, at least twice - couldn’t get past the first 20 minutes.
Fidani, (or Dick Spitfire as I prefer to call him) … his films are in a category all by themselves - Sometimes they’re unintentionally funny or just so completely inept that they keep you watching in disbelief.
I often wondered what was the feeling on set of these productions - did the makers believe they were doing something worthwhile, albeit with very small budgets, or they just didn’t give a shit, as it was a paying job.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to meet Fidani’s daughter, Simonetta … I just said hello, because I couldn’t recall the names of anything she’d appeared in that was worth commenting on … and I didn’t want to be rude.

(tomas) #219

Another western featuring mostly unintentional, but hilariously funny scenes is Fat Brothers From A Place Called Trinity. Crea and Fidanis films are well executed when compared to that.


LOL that sound sounds like an endurance challenge ? :sweat_smile: