Not really.
Sorry, Dean. âEnjoyâ was not the right word. Take care, amigo. Best to youâŚ
Last 10
- Corbucci: Django 9/10
- Martin: Horror Express 7/10
- Kaurismäki: Zombie anf the Ghost train 10/10
- Barboni: Man of the East 7/10
- Franco: Eugenie⌠the Story of Her Journey Into Perversion 6/10
- Fulci: Zombie Flesh Eaters 5/10
- Jodorowsky: Psychomagic -a healing art (doc) 6/10
- Craven: The Last House on the Left 4/10
- Corbucci: Messalina, Messalina 4/10
- Tarantino: Inglorious Basterds 8/10
1 Like
Thatâs Eugenio Martin, I believe. 
Right, I accidentally italianized Gene Martin from credits.
I will never understand the furore behind ZOMBIE FLESHEATERS.
Good fun if you ask me!
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I canât deny that. But it carries a certain legendary status I donât get. Personally I just donât think it is good as it is made out to be.
I donât think the film is that good but it had some of those memorable scenes you never forget and the best looking zombies ever. And the music is good.
3 Likes
Definitely worth watching just for the last half hour alone.
Itâs amazing what Giannetto De Rossi achieved with papier-mâchĂŠ and mud.
2 Likes
The spike through the eyeball is the most memorable for me.
I read an interview with him recently. Fascinating stuff I will dig it out.
Last 10
- Hill: The Driver 6/10
- Lupino: The Trouble with Angels (cinema) 6/10
- Allen: Hollywood Ending 6/10
- Tulio: Levoton veri 7/10
- Goretta: La dentellière 9/10
- Sasanatieng: Tears of the Black Tiger 6/10
- Massi: Convoy Busters 5/10
- Uçanoglu: Bir cuval para 3/10
- Fulci: The Devilâs Honey 6/10
- Lumet: The Offence 6/10
The UNTOUCHABLES would definitely be my pick out of these.
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RoboCop 3 (1993) - Director: Fred Dekker - 3/10 - I do realize this is supposed to be a cutesy comic book flick and has to be approached on its own terms, but the thing is the work at hand is adjusted to the PG-13 crowd to an excessive degree and thus, loses the kind of gritty aesthetics that made the original Robocop film enjoyable in the first place. Secondly, while I didnât expect any Leo Tolstoy level of writing, there is no disguising the fact that dialogues as well as the overall storyline are fucking horrendous. Not only does the motion picture suffer from the irritating kid syndrome, but also deploys the kid in question as some sort of deus-ex-machina apparatus or in other words, a scripting crutch to resolve certain unsolvable situations; this particular narrative drawback especially peaks during the resolution, which is so obnoxiously preposterous it has to be seen to be believed. With all that being said, it ends up being ânot bad enoughâ: it simply displays the very distinctive form of lazy, soulless, corporate, bland big-studio filmmaking in that it isnât marked by any extraordinary incompetence all the while staying irredeemably deficient in multiple regards; all in all, itâs just too sloppy to function as a regular crowd-pleaser, but itâs also not paltry enough to become genuinely interesting on account of its inner ludicrousness, effectively getting hurled into a no-manâs-land of fuckawful blockbusters no one wants to remember or talk about.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - Director: Denis Villeneuve - 9/10 -> 8/10 - A re-watch.
Twin Peaks (1990-1991) (TV Series) - Creators: Mark Frost, David Lynch - 10/10 -> 8/10 - A re-watch.
Twin Peaks (2017) (TV Series) - Creators: Mark Frost, David Lynch - 9/10 -> 8/10 - A re-watch.
Murder 101 (1991) - Director: Bill Condon - 4/10 - The motion picture toys with various narrative devices and attempts to approach the whodunit plot in a slightly more tongue-in-cheek fashion by introducing introspective remarks related to the inner dynamics of murder mysteries. Therewith, it flirts with the romantic motif and the issue of ambition as well as journalistic integrity, but all those disparate elements ultimately coalesce into a rather confusing and somewhat indifferent jumble that does not amount to anything all that interesting to watch. On one hand, the self-questioning and slightly jocular nature of the film makes the whole plot feel quite distant, emotionally apathetic and somewhat trivial. On the other hand, the meat-and-potatoes narrative elaboration appears too scant and too sparse to be engaging, making the whole venture fail to stand out from a bunch of similar efforts. Itâs an intriguing, yet failed experiment that ultimately doesnât succeed in furnishing much of interest, remaining entertaining enough to not become a total bore, but without really distingusihing itself from a number of analogous productions.
Conquest (1983) - Director: Lucio Fulci - 7/10 - Itâs probably the best approximation of the kind of dreams I sometimes have when I dream about watching a movie; itâs messy, itâs incoherent and itâs frenetically hectic. While you could regard these qualities as some sort of cardinal sin and bash the movie for it, I hold the opinion that these exact characteristics only intensify the outlandish atmosphere the motion picture brims over with. Fulciâs usual blurriness, shakiness and bleariness in the camerawork domain get amplified to such an extraordinary degree that you occasionally cannot make out whatâs going on and some shots virtually come to evoke some kind of obscure Filipino or Turkish production, especially the instant hairy sasquatches come in sight. The overall frenzied feel manifests itself in practically all aspects of the production: oddball, cheesy costumes, cavernous sets, the wild, intermittently quite unpredictable, wayward storyline and last but not least, the visual overload in the form of kaleidoscopic lighting as well as the ubiquitous artificial mist, not to mention a couple of emblematically Fulciesque moments with some gore elements thrown in to darken the mood further. All of the abovementioned components make the venture unlike anything else Iâve seen before with the exception of Mannâs The Keep perhaps. Suffice to say, the motion picture is a singularly deranged, hallucinatory as well as grungy experience and constitutes arguably one of Fulciâs best opuses if youâre in the right state of mind and dig this kind of thing. Just awesome.
Orca (1977) - Director: Michael Anderson - 2/10 - If I had to describe this movie with just one word, Iâd probably pick the term âawkwardâ. Practically everything is awkward about this eccentric, confused and exceedingly jumbled effort. To call the narrative disorganized would be a gross understatement, I would go so far as to argue that narratively cohesive scenes are exceptions from the rule set by the absolutely haywire storytelling, so to speak. Some sequences are edited in such a bewilderingly abhorrent fashion that they almost come out of nowhere and the manner in which theyâre all shown borders on being parodic in nature. The reason why this unique wonkiness doesnât work is because the film likewise exhibits a level of sanctimoniousness mostly found in old-school blockbusters, which is exactly the kind of market this flick seems to have been aimed at as manifested in the inclusion of a number of meretricious action set pieces. On one hand, it endeavors to sound sage, profound and philosphical; on the other hand, it overflows with some gratuitously exploitative moments, narrative chaos and goofy cutaways strikingly reminiscent of a comedy in their abruptness and inadvertent absurdity. This intrinsic friction comes to stultify the whole effort completely and makes it a singularly senseless trainwreck indeed.
Streets (1990) - Director: Katt Shea - 3/10 - Another Sheaâs work, another fuckawful movie. While the flick is definitely superior to the other aberration by Shea, which admittedly doesnât say much, it still gets on my nerves in so many fucking ways. The motion picture predominantly feels like a glorified student art film with its scrawny story, kitschy cinematography, contrived characters, flimsy storytelling, awkward dialogues and exasperatingly omnipresent self-indulgence, so essentially, it bears all the marks that made Poison Ivy such a uniquely unpalatable viewing. Shea attempts to develop her visual trademark by inundating the screen with so much orange the creative decision gradually loses its impetus and this cheesy shtick only comes to compound the pretentiousness the endeavor is fraught with. The orange color leaves the frame so rarely that the viewer oftentimes forgets about this stylistic touch, not to mention Shea never bothers to add any other tint to the composition in order to provide some contrast to this uniform orange diarrhea. The antagonist is a cop, but never really uses his institutional power to further his goals, whereas all other characters are penned in an equally juvenile fashion and conveniently enter the frame whenever there is a need to push the story forward and do the things theyâre supposed to do to make the story go in the right direction. I really wish this was just another Roger Corman flick instead of this obnoxious, pretentious arthouse nonsense.
The Exterminator (1980) - Director: James Glickenhaus - 5/10 - There is no disguising the fact that the movie is somewhat rough around the edges as far as its storytelling goes. Although Glickenhaus continually seems to be figuring out a way to establish coherency in the narrative domain throughout filmâs running time, this flaw doesnât debilitate the flick all that much and kind of comes to buoy up the gritty grindhouse aesthetics the endeavor happens to be filled with. This overall brusqueness partially cancels out the destructive effect of the chaotic narration and the perfunctory nature of its story, which primarily occupies itself with immediate vigilante action and its brutally exploitative content. Like in case of Glickenhausâs two other works that Iâve seen, the tout ensemble turns out to be a lot more enjoyable than its spartan premise would suggest and the whole appeal basically derives from its unabashedly unadorned nature: itâs unapologetically brutal and primitive and isnât ashamed to admit that. I guess you could say this exploitative resolution proves to be quite adequate most of the time, but the said simplicity simultaneously prevents it from becoming something more memorable, something more than merely a taut piece of one-dimensional exploitative filmmaking.
The Beastmaster (1982) - Director: Don Coscarelli - 6/10 - While the fantasy pic doesnât really stray away from its source of inspiration and merely sets out to repackage the overall aesthetics in a more PG-friendly form, most of it feels surprisingly enjoyable and basically succeeds in this admittedly prosaic task. I wouldnât say itâs marked by any outstanding mastery in any particular field, however, the tout ensemble is executed with adequate technical dexterity to make for a brainless piece of entertainment. Interestingly enough, even though it retreads a lot of the same ground as other 1980s fantasy works, it doesnât really feel especially derivative; once you factor in its simple, but effective story and its sufficiently dark take on the fantasy world it attempts to depict, the whole endeavor starts to make a lot more sense and to form a coherent picture. I wouldnât go so far as to call it an essential viewing, but the fact of the matter is that despite its relative straightforwardness, the motion picture probably constitutes one of the best fantasy movies of its era by virtue of its mere immediacy. Cheesy, corny fun.
Capricorn One (1977) - Director: Peter Hyams - 7/10 - I believe the strongest point of the venture is that it doesnât attempt to take itself too seriously and as a matter of fact, occasionally takes a jab at cinematic conventions with its characters making sardonic remarks about the fallibility of screenwriting and imperfect cinematic representations of the real world. On the other hand, apart from being perspicuously self-aware and partially jocular in nature, it manages to entertain in a lot more serious tone as well and adequately substantiates its background story, mostly focusing on the journalistâs exploits. Hyamsâs prodigious understanding of the action genre allows him to realize scriptâs full potential with some truly galvanizing action set pieces and the tighly woven conspiratorial material. The script gets too far-fetched and too âcoincidentalâ for its own good towards the end, notiwithstanding, since the movie doesnât take itself too seriously, the whole combination ends up working really well all things considered. Another solid opus from Hyams and a worthy addition to his oeuvre. If this doesnât constitute one of his best works, then it sure as hell is one of his most enjoyable ones.
Apocalypse domani (1980) - Director: Antonio Margheriti - 6/10 - Although my rating might seem a bit low, this is top-notch stuff as far as the entire Italian zombie horror subgenre goes. Apart from furnishing the plot with a number of bloodthirsty Italians running around, biting each other and spilling that lovely tomato sauce all over themselves, the movie likewise takes the time to set up an actual plotline by providing a fairly extensive backstory to protagonistâs narrative strand. Oddly enough, there is an interesting dramatic dynamic between Saxonâs character, his wife and the doctor at the local psychiatric hospital, who seems to have a vested interest in weakening the marital bond between Saxon and his spouse; Italian zombie flicks are probably the last place where you should look for some compelling drama, but bewilderingly enough, there is a decent amount thereof in here. While itâs hard to argue that the endeavor fully realizes its potential or that it isnât guilty of some more cheesy moments, I hold the opinion that itâs not a one-trick pony and some of it apparently strives to transcend its exploitative nature with a varying degree of effectiveness.
Vendetta dal futuro (1986) - Director: Sergio Martino - 4/10 - I love my low-budget action cheesecake as the next guy, nevertheless, a large portion of it is just spread over too big a surface to leave any memorable taste or any lasting impression afterwards. There is quite a few cool things about the flick such as arm wrestling and some wicked fight scenes, but most of that gets drowned out by filler and undermined by the flaccid composition. Also, I have to confess Iâve never been a big fan of Martinoâs directing or his style of narration and a lot of that likewise applies here; there is a streak of narrative hastiness and out-of-focus storytelling that I find somewhat vexing. In other words, there is a bunch of fleeting, inconsequential scenes that drain more important bits of their focus and energy. This makes the flick feel overlong and intermittently tedious. Thankfully, itâs got a great soundtrack by the ever reliable Claudio Simonetti and at the very least, functions as a great music video, so itâs kind of great in this respect. Nothing special, but decent enough I guess.
Youngblood (1986) - Director: Peter Markle - 4/10 - There is no disguising the fact that the whole enchilada is competently made and most of it is entertaining enough I guess, nonetheless, it all gets stale pretty goddamn quickly and becomes another gratuitous pop culture piece of escapism with a distinctly mendacious, feel-good message. There is not a whole left to the imagination and I mean that literally, as the flick just sort of reverts to the autopilot mode at a certain point down the road and proceeds to regugitate asinine bromides and tropes about self-improvement and all that stuff all the while following every known sports cliche in the book. Itâs a good, old piece of sports fantasy topped off with flashy visuals, snappy 1980s jingles and harebrained, hedonist 1980s pop-culture consumerism. Once youâve seen one, youâve seen them all. I suppose itâs not that bad a movie by any means, itâs just that it kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth and feels like drinking a diet coke or some other heavily processed fizzy drink: it sure tastes sweet, but it doesnât really do anything outside of supplying a temporary sensation of artificial, saccharine indulgence.
Le foto di Gioia (1987) - Director: Lamberto Bava - 3/10 - Flashes of intense red and some surreal touches in the staging of murder scenes clearly harken back to Bava Seniorâs oeuvre, however, this is where the similarities end. Regrettably, the motion picture severely suffers from Lamberto Bavaâs inadequacy as a storyteller, which manifests itself in the way most murder sequences are introduced hastily and donât have a proper buildup with the exception of the very first kill. What is worse, the script seems to lack the âcrisisâ section of the screenplay, which is supposed to lead up to the inevitable conclusion, hence most of the flickâs content practically boils down to stretching the âinciting incidentâ phase of the script up until the very climax, rendering the whole composition remarkably stagnant and one-note; the killer just comes and goes as he pleases, the killings happen, the female protagonists throws a tantrum each time, some red herrings are thrown in the way and then everything goes back to square one; suffice to say, there is almost no variety in filmâs tone or structure and Grandiâs salient one-dimensionality only tends to make things worse. There is a couple of interesting elements and oddball maneuvers, but the tout ensemble ultimately winds up feeling rather lame and cumbersome to be perfectly honest.
Vision Quest (1985) - Director: Harold Becker - 4/10 - While the effort does attempt to diversify the whole sports formula with a rather extensive characterization, most of that falls flat for me on account of Matthew Modine; his portrayal of the central character is so uncharismatic and milquetoast that he doesnât fit the part at all IMHO, not to mention he looks like a fucking thirty-year-old man making a fool out of himself by playing the role of a fucking high-school kid. He sometimes looks like heâs the oldest part of the cast with the exception of his coach, his dad and his friend at the hotel. Needless to say, this aspect of the work completely ruins filmâs realism for me and makes the middle section drag like hell. Things admittedly pick up towards the end with a couple of energizing fight scenes, however, these are still nothing out of the ordinary. The Tangerine Dream soundtrack is so infrequent and underused itâs not even worth mentioning, whereas the overall filmic content continually verges on being nauseatingly corny and awkward. I wouldnât say itâs that much of a bewildering aberration, itâs just that a lot of it is simply cringe-worthy and quite tedious to watch.
Shark: Rosso nellâoceano (1984) - Director: Lamberto Bava - 2/10 - Ascribing movieâs maimed structure to the low-budget just doesnât cut it Iâm afraid. The haywire narration simply seems to be a manifestation of Bavaâs frequent lack of discipline as a narrator, except that itâs a lot more pronounced and amplified here with âsuspensefulâ scenes being intercut with irrelevant bits and pieces; suffice to say, the awkward cutaways emblematic of this kind of exploitation filmmaking reign supreme here. The narrative erraticism is not the only component to be blamed for this utter incoherency and idiocy, however, as the work in question is riddled with all sorts of factual errors, which are too numerous to enumerate individually. Furthermore, the turkey is thoroughly pervaded by the ubiquitous sense of stupidity induced by its fairly atrocious English dubbing, a number of idiotic scenes as well as poor acting all around. While there are some inadvertently (I presume not deliberately?) amusing moments, which fans of uber-trash cinema are likely to cherish for their overpowering ineptitude, I wouldnât wish this to anybody and wouldnât want to subject any person to this shit. Most of it is just way too fucking vapid and feels like a cinematic equivalent of lobotomy.
Blastfighter (1984) - Director: Lamberto Bava - 4/10 - The issue with these redneck exploitation flicks is that a lot of them tend to dehumanize the rednecks to such a preposterous degree that it is very hard to treat them seriously and Blastfighter is likewise guilty of that. While the poignant relationship between Sopkiw and Eastman does introduce some variety and depth to the overall story, the rest of the tale leaves a lot to be desired in the sense that it predominantly reuses the same threadbare formula focusing on rednecks wreaking havoc and barely behaving like the human species, which grows remarkably tedious and repetitive after a while. The father-daughter reunion falls short on account of ham-fisted dialogues as well as by virtue of completely asinine and cheesy redneck action, which comes to obfuscate most of the already half-baked drama. Suffice to say, itâs just a cheesy action flick with an enjoyable Frizzi score, some entertaining stunts, big kabooms and the invariably inept redneck pandemonium; I guess itâs hard to fault as long as itâs primarily approached from this perspective. Hardly exceptional, but decent enough I suppose.
Dèmoni (1985) - Director: Lamberto Bava - 7/10 - Alongside the awesome basic premise, what makes this particular horror outing so enjoyable is that it doesnât pretend to be something more than it is, never really takes itself too seriously and ultimately, proves to be as hilarious as it is sanguinary and scary. Another component which makes the whole offering so refreshing and diverting is the self-reflective nature of the story, which takes jabs at various genre conventions and the cinematic format as a whole. Consequently, itâs as much a regular horror story as it is a subtle horror parody overtly playing around with different cliches and thematic motives. Itâs hard to say whether it was the location-based nature of the plot or the Argento supervision that rendered Bavaâs storytelling and the overall writing so much more taut and focused here, suffice to say, the storytelling makes so much more sense and coheres beautifully in this instance. Last but not least, Simonettiâs excellent soundtrack as well as some swell metal inclusions further add to the cheesy, goofy fun. In one word, itâs just badass.
Body Puzzle (1992) - Director: Lamberto Bava - 5/10 - The odd thing about this neo-giallo outing is that it emulates the look and feel of the American neo-noir of its era insofar as it loses most of that grungy Italian aesthetic, becoming too polished, glossy and somehow too ârefinedâ in the process. The inordinately Americanized exterior in conjunction with its clearly Italian locations endows the whole endeavor with a rather puzzling appearance in that the movie is both international and very localized in its nature, which is quite confusing to my way of thinking. With regard to the story itself, it remains fairly engrossing and tightly woven until the latter part of the story kicks in and then it just becomes too far-fetched for its own good. Oddly enough, I think it is executed with elegance and sophistication rarely found in other works by Bava, but this proficiency simultaneously kind of derpives the filmmaking of its exploitative facets, thereby stripping it of the seasoning that made it so flavorful and outstanding in the first place. Hence, the film inadvertently deteriorates into aesthetic mediocrity and grows too âstandardizedâ as well as flavorless to distinguish itself from a number of similar American counterparts, whereas its plotline gets too tenuous to stand on its own feet without some subsidiary stylistic garnish in the form of âtastefulâ cheapness or some less Americanized decor.
Deliria (1987) - Director: Michele Soavi - 7/10 - In addition to its splendid basic concept, Soaviâs assured direction steers this venture in a firm, resolute fashion, systematically building up tension and gingering up the endeavor with some fairly gruesome and gory moments. The director skillfully takes advantage of the location-based nature of the story and dexterously amplifies the claustrophobic atmosphere with multiple scenes featuring dark corridors and stuffy theatrical passages. On top of all this, the overall persona of the âowl killerâ looks duly creepy and further reinforces the unnerving feeling of gloom and doom the motion picture is brimming over with. Admittedly, the writing gets kind of sketchy towards the end and is guilty of employing a rather inept resolution, however, the flick remains highly suspenseful and exceedingly redolent for the most part in spite of the general inspiration apparently tapering off to some extent towards the denouement. Perhaps not a classic, but definitely one of the strongest gialli of the decade.
La chiesa (1989) - Director: Michele Soavi - 4/10 - While Deliria already had some general occult intimations, La chiesa seems to be teeming with them and is indubitably centered on explicitly hermetic deliberations. The issue with the tout ensemble lies in the fact that the exploitative, pulpy component is still very much present here with all of its inherent cheesiness, which undercuts and stultifies its more lofty, intellectual aspirations. Regrettably, the opposite also holds true in the sense that its occult references with their gratuitously grim, dreary tone make the entire work inordinately serious, which clashes with the aforementioned goofiness. Consequently, both elements cancel each other out and the opus comes to be stuck in this odd limbo, where itâs neither enjoyable nor all that stylistically compelling. What is worse, the basic storyline gradually begins to dissolve along the way and all of its references to the occult, alchemy, orthodoxy, heterodoxy, gnosticism and hermeticism never really get fleshed out, apart from failing to gratify in the regular sense. Allusions to the esoteric tradition feel perfunctory and more like a futile attempt at imparting overall aesthetics rather than to illuminate anything concrete. As far as traditional screenwriting goes, the latter portion of the script is at a complete loss for focus or even a central protagonist, arbitrarily switching between different narrative strands and rarely bothering to tie up all the loose ends. Last but not least, the writing liberally alters individual charactersâ qualities at a whim, which further robs the tale of any semblance of serious characterization. You may call it symbolic and profound, I just call it shitty, undisciplied storytelling. To add insult to injury, the resolution is so underwhelming it feels like a result of an overzealous interference by a strict censorship rather than a conscious creative choice. All in all, La chiesa is too internally confused and too much of a mixed bag to serve as anything other than a moderately intriguing curio of a motion picture.
La setta (1991) - Director: Michele Soavi - 6/10 - Even though its general premise and overall story vary quite a bit from Rosemaryâs Baby, it definitely shares a lot of similarities with that film as far as the tone or the general theme goes. Soavi slowly and progressively builds up the suspense and carefully constructs the tale through the regular storyline as well as a number of highly surreal, dreamlike sequences intended to augur whatâs about to come later down the road. The movie manages to sustain its momentum the moment the script grows more lax and impressionistic on account of its satisfactorily robust characterization that precedes the latter portion of the movie. Just like in case of other Soaviâs ventures, I cannot say I was particularly captivated by his visual handling of the material and there is something missing to make the work truly special and great in the end. With that being said, the opus comprises many a visually engaging scene and even if it doesnât quite get there, it admittedly does opt for a more sophisticated approach in terms of its visual presentation. An enjoyable if inessential viewing.
Murderock - Uccide a passo di danza (1984) - Director: Lucio Fulci - 6/10 - The movie is noteworthy for its unorthodox story that couldâve been something truly great under the right circumstances, itâs too bad it gets obscured by mediocre writing and strictly generic aspirations of the project at hand. Additionally, the motion picture probably constitutes the least bloody giallo flick ever directed by Fulci, which might be a good or a bad thing depending on the way you look at it. To my way of thinking, it proves to be an asset in the sense that it allows Fulci to demonstrate his skill as a director without resorting to any gratuitous splatter tactics. Despite very little blood being involved, murder scenes succeed in being genuinely disquieting solely on account of their staging, sound effects and the visual presentation. On top of that, the whole endeavor is further bolstered by the emblematically blurry Fulci visuals, which especially come in handy during dancing scenes and dream sequences. While the narrative starts to slacken in the second half, at which point the identity of the killer becomes rather obvious, the eccentric nature of the whole deal as well as the hefty directing maintain the energy up until the very end and make it all fairly enjoyable to watch.
Spartacus (1960) - Director: Stanley Kubrick - 6/10.
Pathos - Segreta inquietudine (1988) - Director: Piccio Raffanini - 3/10 - I really donât know who this is supposed to be aimed at. The whodunit element is so preposterously tenuous you can pretty much guess the identity of the murderer like twenty minutes in; there is no real suspense, no real blueprint and no serious attempts at establishing tension, since we witness most of the killings by watching it second-hand from a video player, which further renders the portayed action distant and stressless. Itâs difficult to determine if the movie looks like crap because of the poor quality of my copy or whether it looked like shit to begin with. Suffice to say, the lighting feels like a subpar knockoff of Argento style; the whole venture is so ludicrously overstylized that scenes which are not drenched in blue or red are hard to come by. On the other hand, the motion picture is not all that explicit and most of it ends up looking merely like a more sexualized version of some 1980s TV commercial peddling some kind of shampoo, except that Iâd rather watch that commercial in lieu of this little abomination. The only distinguishing feature seems to be the ubiquitous stylistic kitschiness, overbearing pretentiousness as well as self-indulgence, which are accentuated and exacerbated by some truly fuckawful dialogues, uniformly unlikable characters and cheesy pop tunes playing every five minutes or so. The toxicity and utter crappiness of it all might be of interest to some masochists, everybody else stay out or watch Cruising instead.
Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) - Director: Michele Soavi - 7/10 - Probably one of the most twisted and morbid horror comedies Iâve had the pleasure to chance upon. The strongest component of the whole endeavor dwells in the fact that the movie never really settles on one specific pattern or formula, which renders it admittedly haotic, but in an exceedingly enjoyable fashion. There is something remarkably refreshing and galvanizing about its insistence on perpetually playing around with its own structure, characters as well as a number of different horror bromides; the sportive way in which it modifies horror tropes so as to endow the effort with a healthy dose of pungency and humorous irreverence is what ultimately makes it quite special. This approach intermittently makes the whole venture somewhat erratic and slightly incohesive (especially towards the denouement), nevertheless, the determination wherewith the motion picture moves forwards and the frolicsome nature of it all make the slightly disorderly storytelling largely negligible in the end. A bit of an acquired taste and somewhat uneven at times, but there is no disguising the fact that it has a fair batch of unique ideas which cause this Soavi outing to be his most original and enjoyable work to date.
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Missione finale (1988) - Director: Ferdinando Baldi - 5/10 - An Italian war action movie filmed in North Korea and directed by Ferdinando Baldi? I mean I really couldnât resist the temptation to check it out no matter how hard I tried. Well, truth be told, it ainât too bad and oddly enough, it kind of exceeded my expectations in the end. While the flick admittedly suffers from inferior acting, its predictably generic storyline and sort of fizzles out towards the end, what ultimately compensates for its flaws is the rather ghostly atmosphere that it is filled with. There is something uncannily bizarre about its North Korean locations such as shopping malls, deserted streets and Buddhist temples in that they tend to lend this weird, quasi-post-apocalyptic quality to the whole effort; âoriental placelessnessâ would be one way of calling this eerie characteristic: the movie is clearly filmed somewhere in the Orient, you canât really put your finger on where exactly and that combined with the forlorn look of much of the portrayed landscape leaves a rather haunting impression overall. Therewith, Baldiâs competent direction additionally enhances the experience, capturing some appealing shots and properly editing action sequences, which makes this effort vastly superior in this regard to something shat out by Mattei for instance. All in all, itâs hardly an essential viewing, but definitely something of interest to people taking interest in these weird, obscure film oddities.
Hammerhead (1987) - Director: Enzo G. Castellari - 3/10 - Despite several decent shootouts and a few fair ideas scattered around, Hammerhead is just your usual, cheesy Italian actioner with ham-fisted acting, crappy dialogues, messy montage and overall structural disarray. Other than a passable twist at the end, there is nothing really out of the ordinary here: we get the tough macho cop setting out to avenge his deceased friend, the comic relief character, protagonistâs former girlfriend and so on, and so on; all of itâs then thrown together and stirred in a rather jumbled, clumsy fashion and seasoned with the usual dose of Italian cheese. To add insult to injury, Daniel Greeneâs overacting really gets on my nerves and further saps the already enervated flick. All in all, the abysmal tout ensemble is all too familiar and all too messy to become anything other than a tolerable time-waster, to be perfectly honest though, I found an astonishing portion of this to be quite tedious and about as fresh as a greenish lump of rancid lasagna left to rot in the dumpster, so in other words, not that fucking tolerable. On a side note, one of the bad guys goes by the name of Giuseppe Vari; it kind of seems too specific to be just a coincidence, so perhaps itâs a little tongue-in-cheek homage, who knows. Either way, an interesting fact well worth noting, more interesting than anything else portrayed in the film anyhow.
Fuga dal Bronx (1983) - Director: Enzo G. Castellari - 4/10 - Although the flick is technically executed in a pretty prepossessing fashion and boasts a highly energizing performance by Henry Silva, the fact of the matter is there is just not enough meat on the bone and most of it simply falls flat on account of its exceedingly perfunctory script. Action sequences might be bountiful and edited in a galvanizing way, nevertheless, the issue lies in the fact that the movie is just that, a string of action set pieces with virtually no variation in terms of tone and substance. The protagonist is so mind-bogglingly bland and so utterly deprived of any distinguishing features (other than his goofy haircut maybe) that the pic could easily do without him. Consequently, this fault comes to sap the storyline to the extension that it becomes absurdly repetitive, tedious and tiresome to watch; what is worse, even the post-apocalyptic aesthetic isnât captured all that well, which is yet another factor failing to compensate for the aforementioned flaws. Hence, what weâre ultimately left with is effectively a sci-fi-flavored poliziotteschi. Unless you buy into this specific combination, you are unlikely to find much of interest here.
Dream Demon (1988) - Director: Harley Cokeliss - 7/10 - The motion picture is highly reminiscent of Fulciâs The Beyond in the sense that it blurs the distinction between the reality and the dream, endeavoring to create its own world through a number of idiosyncratic, highly surreal, oneiric sequences. While the movie ultimately fails to live up to its lofty aspirations by settling for a rather predictable and moderately strightforward resolution, there is no disguising the fact that it succeeds in conjuring up a truly apocalyptic and infernal atmosphere at various points, deploying some muzzy shots and evocative lighting among other things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnât, but it never ceases to be ambitious and it is to be applauded for trying to be different and attempting to scare its viewers without resorting to predicably gory measures to an excessive degree. What ultimately makes all of it so enjoyable to watch are its two well delineated, likable female characters, which is also the component maintaining the audienceâs attention during the latter, more narratively experimental portion of the flick. Perhaps not as smart as it wants to be, nonetheless, a large chunk of it is suitably creepy and invariably enjoyable in spite of its failings here and there.
Laguna Heat (1987) - Director: Simon Langton - 6/10 - There is no denying the fact that the film intermittently does a poor job of transcribing the plot of the book itâs based on and proves to be too convoluted for its own good at various junctures, however, the source material likewise happens to impart a certain dose of refinement and elegance. In other words, itâs an old-school noir tale draped in the 1980s neo-noir setting: certain parts of it are handled somewhat ponderously, yes, but fortunately a lot of it is compensated for by strong performances given by Harry Hamlin, Jason Robards and Rip Torn as well as by the overall bitterness and pungency of the plot at hand. Furthermore, however tangled certain parts of the narration tend to be, the movie unfolds in a rather measured, graceful fashion, which enables the film to develop its characters properly and endows the venture with a rather lush atmosphere. Apart from the absurd intricacies of the storyline, I wish the denouement had been darker as well as a tad more cynical, notwithstanding, the work ultimately manages to offset this excessive scripting complexity through its gracious plot progression, strong acting and its adequately strong grip on the overall noir aesthetics.
Lâultimo cacciatore (1980) - Director: Antonio Margheriti - 4/10 - Iâm not sure what Iâm supposed to think about this one; itâs basically just your regular Italian war outing duly accommodated to its era so as to cash in on a number of superior as well as more original works, which means we basically get a little bit of everything, but it doesnât really turn out to be that much in the end. Not to mention the narrative stagnation in the middle section, filmâs firmly emulative nature finally sinks in the moment the second part of the flick kicks in and then the movie unabashedly begins to pilfer scenes from The Deer Hunger and Apocalypse Now, which looks as crass as it sounds. Yes, it is quite gory and violent, but mere gore just does not equate to gloom or grittiness unless it is propped up by a satisfactorily developed script, which is something this film lacks. Whether youâre gonna like this pretty much depends on your personal expectations, but if you expect anything other than a cheesy, ridiculous exploitation flick, youâre gonna get sorely disappointed. To be perfectly frank, I didnât get much out of it in this regard either, as I thought it was plainly repetitive and just fucking boring. But you know, different strokes for different folks, your mileage may vary and all that.
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I just came here after some time and looked at the last post - oh, @Mickey13 's reviews, cool - what? only six movies? Then I scrolled upâŚ
That was a pretty disappointing flick. 3/10 max for me.
Yeah, I donât blame you. Itâs like a fine piece of mature Limburger, I do love it though. I doubt there is anything quite like it. And if there is, then I want to watch that shit too.