Share your favorite Spaghetti Western cliches

Good looking people are much better than everyone else at everything that matters:

1.better at shooting
2. better at fighting
3. women are attracted to them instantly. only the gorgeous ones though.
4. they are cleverer than ugly people
5. they can ride horses better
6. they have better morals

etc etc

Oh, and the old cliché of coffee around the campfire in a metal cafetiere. When other people make it it always taste like a mule pissed in it.

-In just one hand at a spaghetti western poker table, the bad guy can confidently expect to draw all four queens, or a straight flush to king or some similar almost unbeatable hand. However, in the same one hand, the hero will always beat whatever the bad guy is holding. Hardly seems worth it for anyone to put any money down, really.

-Anyone named after a religious artefact or parochial item or utensil is guaranteed a future in Spag world as either a lethal charismatic antihero or a lethal psychotic villain. Men named “Crucifix”, “Archangel” or “Communion” don’t work in I.T. or chartered accountancy. Not in Spag world. Nossir.

-Bad guys in Spag world are surprisingly jovial. In fact almost every sentence any of them utter is usually suffixed with a trademark “evil” laugh. “HA, ha-ha, haaaa!” Good guys on the other hand are a bunch of miserable buggers. “My gun!” Cheer up, fella!

-Lee van Cleef knows where the curly pipe shop is, but he’s not telling anyone else.

-Northern Europeans are quite incredibly swarthy and Latin-looking. Very Franco Nero-ish.

-A capable gunfighter can cause his victim to fall to the floor, dead. But with one bullet (from 40 yards and without looking), a Spaghetti Western gunfighter can cause a man to lurch forward towards the point of ballistic impact through a second-storey window, stumble toward a balcony and perform a flawless post-mortem triple somersault & twist into a watering trough. 8.0, 8.0, 8.0, 7.9, 8.0…

-Jeff Cameron’s pistol has enough power to knock people off their feet into the sky, but leave no holes in the body.

-According to Fidani, if you are shot in mid air, your body will try to force itself to cheer while flailing to your death.

  • I learnt from Robert Woods that if you wear a cowl that completely covers your face, you become an unstoppable killing machine.

  • Gordon Mitchell’s “cameos” are either his untimely death, or 2 mins with little or no reason for him to be there.

  • All of Luciano Rossi’s parts are either rapists, or psychos.

You guys have some good ones!

Kudos for the thread starter.Always have this to my mind:

1)Tomas Millian’s playmobil haircut
2)When someone accept a gunshot rotates like a whirligig
3)Used the woman been alone and the (anti)hero abandoned her.Revenge complete so case closed

-If you tear your shirt, don’t ask Hallelujah to sew it up.

-Mexican women usually have large breasts/buttocks, and like to dance whilst shaking said apparatus.