Just for a laugh

JUST FOR A LAUGH

Just an opportunity for anyone on SWDB, at any time, to post any comedy sketches, ditties, or jokes, that have taken their fancy, over the years.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but a laugh always sets me up for the day ahead. :smiley:

It doesn’t matter what your tastes are, or what makes you laugh… just post, and enjoy.
Life is too short.

With it being comedy, here’s hoping that everyone can come away from it with a huge smile, and a belly-full of laughs… :grinning:

Sir Ken Dodd: “I did 25 minutes running on the spot this morning - I had my braces caught in the banister.”

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FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
You’re right there, Obadiah
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Who’d have thought thirty year ago we’d all be sittin’ here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o’ tea
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
A cup o’ cold tea
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Without milk or sugar
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Or tea
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In a cracked cup, an’ all
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness, son”
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, ‘e was right
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, ‘e was
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
I was happier then and I had nothin’. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, ‘alf the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t’ corridor!
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would ha’ been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, when I say ‘house’ it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
We were evicted from our ‘ole in the ground; we ‘ad to go and live in a lake
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t’ shoebox in t’ middle o’ road
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Cardboard box?
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t’ mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi’ his belt
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o’clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of ‘ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit’ bread knife
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
And you try and tell the young people of today that … they won’t believe you
ALL:
They won’t!

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Monty Python is always good to brighten your day; here’s a good one

And one of the first laugh out loud comedy teams I saw as a kid, The Three Stooges

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Courtesy of the legend that is Ivor Biggun.

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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Classic stuff!

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Toscano that has really cheered me up!

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Keep on smiling and laughing, Ali… :grinning:

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'Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink…

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A nods as good as a wink to blllind bat!!

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Monty Python led the ways in which today’s ‘so-called comedy’ could learn so much from…
‘Wink, wink…’

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A little bit of Rogering during the good old days of 007…

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Could be me, but this always cracks me up

Life is good, and is for living, giving, and having a good time, and having a laugh. That’s what this particular SWDB topic is for. I started it so that even people who had no sense of humour could be involved.

If you do, however, encounter someone who does not believe in these positive good-will attitudes, I suggest that you respond by playing, ‘The Dick-Head Song’.

It’s a Fact…or is it? In 2019, a survey was taken, and, in 9 out of 10 cases, the people who heard this song thought that it was a melody composed by Chopin, and ended the night by vomiting outside bars and night-clubs that they had just frequented.

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To each their own… :grinning:

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So as not to off topic…

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Actually I found it quite funny too.

The government should allow chav hunting. Leave the little foxes alone. It would save the tax payer a fortune. Plus chavs move slower than foxes.

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Haha, perhaps things are only funny when made in Britain. That’s what I get from this topic anyway. As for me, I don’t care for Monty Python at all, overrated in my opinion. Yes, Minister is great stuff though.

The reason I posted that video is that I find it hilarious, even after watching it a hundred times. To each their own indeed.

By the way, notice Blasphemer when Necrobutcher is talking. Hiding his laughter, trying to act serious, haha.

Very untrue, there is plenty of dross being created these days and being palmed of as comedy Lieutenant.
Interesting what you say about Yes, Minister. That programme seems a bit forgotten over here these days. Nice to know that it appeals to the European market still.