I bailed out at 25 mins…couldn’t take it anymore. Let me know if it gets any better.
Same here. Could just not get into this one.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 5
My son is almost twelve, so he’s hitting an age where he’ll be putting certain interests behind him, one of which it seems is animated family adventures. So, at least until he’s old enough to once again appreciate these things, it would appear that it’s a final festive run out for tonight’s Christmas fare, a trio of animated Christmas specials: Shrek the Halls (Trousdale, 2007), Merry Madagascar (Soren, 2009) and Toy Story That Time Forgot (Purcell, 2014). Ah, sod him, next year we’ll just make him leave the room while mrs.caress and I enjoy them.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 6
We’ve just sat back and “enjoyed” one of mrs.caress’ nominations for our December Yuleathon: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (Adamson, 2005). Well, it had Father Christmas in it, I suppose.
Frasier is terrific.
Yeah, the wife and I both love it. It’s our go-to show of choice most nights for us to watch in bed.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 7
Went for an obscure “bad” festive movie today, and shtting crikey! This one was excellent, in a "fcking dreadful" sense. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (Winer, 1972) was its name, and it was basically a piss-poor thirty minute or so wraparound story to a completely different hour-long movie: Thumbelina (Mahon, 1970). The wraparound story involved the cheapest-budget movie Santa I’ve ever seen being stranded by his reindeer on a beach in Florida (in fairness to them, I’d have stranded this twatspasm too if I was one of his reindeer), and having a bunch of kids bring him an assortment of other animals to pull his sleigh for him. Horse, donkey, pig, sheep, guy in a gorilla suit - all fail. So, Santa sits the kids down to tell them the tale of Thumbelina for no reason I can discern, which is when the movie within the movie kicks in (a look at Wikipedia informs me that some prints of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny have another hour-long pic, Jack and the Beanstalk, also directed by Barry Mahon, in place of Thumbelina). Eventually, Santa bums a lift from The Ice Cream Bunny, a terrifying amusement park mascot - I think - who only appears with ten minutes of the film remaining despite sharing titular billing and who comes to Santa’s rescue on a kiddie-ride sized fire truck. Okay then! I can definitely see this debacle getting a replay on Christmas Day. It’s brilliantly f*ckawful and comes heartily recommended.
Oliver Reed puts an advertisement in a paper for a female partner to spend a year on a desert island with him. At the island the pair had plans which sort of do not happen. Instead Oliver Reed shows his frustrations and sort of treats the island like a doss house. Reed is watchable with his best role in a long time, but at the end of the film I just felt empty with the whole film.
I am still undecided between: a) some old mexploitation film b) the duke of burgundy c) escape from the bronx d) the world of kanako e) land raiders, or a million others on my list
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 8
Yesterday’s title was supposed to be Jack Frost (Cooney, 1997): Not the mawkish load of old bum-leavings from 1998 starring Michael Keaton as a dead dad who comes back as a snowman, only to melt away and die all over again, but the equally poorly received horror/comedy of a year earlier. Alas, mrs.caress wanted to watch 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown: Christmas Special (the special festive episode of a topical comedy panel show which in recent years seems to have fused itself to a separate scrabble-style quiz show) and That’s So Last Century (a one-off talking heads show in which minor celebs and their families rip the piss out of gadgets from our recent past; VHS players, ghetto blasters, ZX Spectrums etc.) on the telly instead, so my movie had to go on ice. “On Ice”, get it? Jack Frost? No? Ah, sod you’s. Anyways, I’ll definitely get back to it, I’ve never seen it and I wanted to give it a look.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 9
Today we’re going with a staple (at casa.caress, anyway) for this time of year: Batman Returns (Burton, 1992), in which Michael Keaton hides behind a cowl, Danny DeVito hides behind a prosthetic nose, Michelle Pfeiffer pours herself into a vinyl catsuit and, despite all of that, Christopher Walken steals the movie from under the lot of them. “One can never have too much power. If my life has a meaning… that’s the meaning.”
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 10
“Do you think we care as much about your baby as you do? Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff? Well done, merry f%cking Christmas.”
Back to the TV specials today, this time with the two-part The Office: The Christmas Specials (Gervais/Merchant, 2003). Aah, Tim. Aah, Dawn. Aah, David and that blind date. Aah, beans and muff.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 11
Aaargh! Couldn’t watch my movie on Friday, expected as we were to go “out”, with “friends”, whatever those concepts are. Stupid real world, getting in the way of my gibbering movie-based obsessions. And it was one I really wanted to watch too: Die Hard 2 (Harlin, 1990). “How can the same s#it happen to the same guy twice?” complains our Brucie. And, having had to miss TWO of my festive movies already, I can feel his pain.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 12
I DID manage to catch my festive flick last night, I just didn’t have any computer access to post it in time (I’m cadging a quick go on mrs.caress’ laptop while I’m without a PC until Santa gets here). Anyway, it was Gremlins (Dante, 1984), and tbh I can’t see it getting any more Christmas run-outs for awhile. It’s long been a December staple and I loved it when I was twelve but it really hasn’t aged well IMHO and we all sat there watching it impatiently and distractedly, waiting for it to be over. That’s not really the spirit, is it? So, it’s back in the box for Gizmo and co., maybe I’ll give them another try in a decade or so. Maybe Gremlins will have moved from “naff” to “retro cool” by then.
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 13
Hm, it seems that missing out on Die Hard 2 on Friday may have inadvertently solved a quandary for me today. We should be settling down to The Nightmare Before Christmas (Burton, 1993) imminently; terrific Christmas movie for sure but… I just really don’t fancy it right now. Do you ever get that? When you’re really not in the mood for a certain movie, even though the movie in question is definitely a good 'un? Well, family.caress don’t know which film is scheduled for which day (in fairness, mrs.caress doesn’t give a s#it either way), so I think I’m going to swap the one film out for the other. If I’m in the mood for the Burton picture on another day, I’ll squeeze it in then. Hurrah.
Charity and the strange smell of money.
I am opting for Two Rode Together (Widmark, Stewart) and then later The Man with the golden Arm (Sinatra)
Nice to see you around again, mate
31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 14
Almost halfway through my December marathon, and a thought occurs to me:
Christmas movies are a bit… well, s#it, aren’t they?
Anyway, in for a penny, in for a pound. Today’s “treat” is the (in)famously bad Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Webster, 1964), featuring an 8 yearo-old Pia Zadora and a plot rather more convoluted than it ought to be.
Probably Soderbergh’s Haywire (2011)
I have avoided it so far, mainly because i’m not a Soderbergh fan, but someone who isn’t either told me I should give it a chance.
Gonna watch tonight silent night deadly night and the remake
i love them both
I saw ‘Fargo’ a couple of nights ago. It was interesting.
Hi Phil (and the rest of the Five Amigos)
I’m still alive and kicking.
My collection is up to about 220 spags now.
Lots on my to watch list.
Id better get to it…