31 DAYS of CHRISTMAS - DAY 9
Rules For Owning a Mogwai:
-Don’t expose him to sunlight.
-Don’t get him wet.
-NEVER feed him after midnight.
-Don’t sing ‘What I got, you got to get it, put it in you’ at him. Even as a joke.
-Don’t make fun of his tiny, furry penis. Even though it’s hilarious.
-Don’t poke foreign objects up his bumhole.
-Don’t point at him when he’s having a poo.
-If he’s humping a teddy bear, let him finish.
-Don’t let him gamble for Christ’s sake. He has a real problem.
-Don’t throw him at velcro surfaces ‘for a laugh’. He’ll bite your cock off.
-Don’t dress him like a little hairy cowboy and make him ride a dog like a horse.
-If you own a Furby, he will f*ck it, kill it, eat it and wear its skin.
There’s not much point in owning one is there, really?
Today, it’s Gremlins (Dante, 1994).