Not “at the moment”, but last night mrs.caress and I decided to take advantage of a Buy-One-Get-One-Free offer from Pizza Hut. I had the Vegetable Sizzler - basically jalapenos and onions with extra jalapenos - and it was bloody lovely. I love hot stuff anyway so the humble jalapeno holds no fear at all. Indeed, I gave my pizza a drizzle of habanero sauce to give it a little power-up, so to speak. Beautiful.
Now though, my bumhole is screaming at me like a trapped pig. And there appears to be some sort of tractor beam stopping me from moving further than ten metres away from the toilet.
I don’t think I feel too good.