God’s Gun / Diamante Lobo (Gianfranco Parolini, 1976)

I didn’t think God’s Gun was all that bad! Its reputation preceded it and I think it’s had a (tiny) bit of a bum steer! I mean, it wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. Israel doubled excellently imo for the Tex/Mex border. Van Cleef was dependable as ever in dual roles (THAT’S how it’s done, Shatner!) despite a wig that seemed determined to upstage him in every scene, Sybill Danning is absolutely stunning (although she doesn’t do much besides glare a lot), and Jack Palance absolutely chews the scenery (in the good way) in a delightful and typically “Palancian” (is that a word? It is now!) turn as gang leader and all-round bad egg Sam Clayton. I even enjoyed Heinz Bernard as the town Judge, if only for the fact that he was the spitting image of Christoph Waltz as Dr. King Schultz in Django Unchained. The basic premise was good (although the execution was often flawed), the soundtrack, whilst a little “stock” at times had some decent little moments, and for a Spag made so late in the subgenre’s by-then waning lifespan, it seems to me to be a half-decent stab at a gritty little movie. Even Leif Garrett wasn’t entirely irritating (a common problem for kid actors playing a blue-eyed-boy role). Faults? Well, it suffers as it seems so very many spags do in just not being crafted with any real care and attention. Editing is laconic, secondary characters are wooden, extras are laughable almost as though they’re remembering back to when they used to play “Cowboys & Injuns” as kiddies, and simply replicating that. “Ptchow! Ptchow!” Action sequences are all over the place with some of the most hilarious face-gurning I’ve seen outside of fifties b-picture creature features. And the aforementioned execution of what was a basically decent premise pulled me right out of the pic a couple of times (“Where’s your brother?” “Oh, you’ll never meet him, he’s somewhere down in Mexico (implication: f’n miles away)…” so the kid basically runs to Mexico, is pointed in the right direction by the first Mexican he meets, and first town he arrives at: Bingo! He’s found his man. How big is Mexico, in the world of God’s Gun? 200 sq feet?). So no, it’s no classic; if someone told me they’d never seen God’s Gun I wouldn’t be compelled to tell them that they’re missing out at all. But my impression based on a few reviews was that I was about to witness a proper turkey of a movie; a debacle. And I didn’t find that to be the case either. Not entirely, anyway. Just a bit of a turkey, maybe. A drumstick.