A whole project devoted to John Carpenter, I love it! Why don’t we get stuff like that where I live? We never get anything like that in South-East Essex. Mind you, we’ve got the Bay City Rollers appearing at the Basildon Towngate Theatre in November. So there’s that. 
1 Like
Yesterday could’ve been – or possibly was – a nice movie-day: for titoli George Miller’s Mental Maximilian series, Mad Max (1979), Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981, co-directed by George Ogilvie), Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) and finally Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). For ION_BRITTON Henri-Georges Clouzot’s great Le Salaire de la peur (1953) followed by William Friedkin’s Sorcerer (1977), which I have to watch as soon as possible. My pick for yesterday would have been Todd Haynes’s Far from Heaven (2002), a quasi-remake of Douglas Sirk’s All That Heaven Allows (1955) via Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s Angst essen Seele auf (Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, 1974). scherpschutter would’ve watched Joel and Ethan Coen’s True Grit (2010), after Henry Hathaway’s 1969 film the second adaptation of Portis’s eponymous novel. And today: a criterion difficult to define – so bad, it’s good. I’m curious about it …
1 Like
I’ve had that sat on my PC for awhile now, someone on another forum recommended it to me, but I haven’t gotten around to it. I’m assured it’s a cracking film; in fact I considered it for Haven’t Seen it Yet, Think I’m Going to LOVE it Day and for Really Should Have Seen This By Now Day, too.
Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about… grave robbers from outer space?
DAY 10: SO BAD, IT’S GOOD
We all love a good “bad” movie, don’t we? A slice of glorious f*ckwittery, what I guess the kids today would call an “Epic Fail”? These days, films like this are something of a burgeoning industry thanks to Asylum Films, SyFy and the like. But whilst modern tongue in cheek pics like Sharknado (Ferrante, 2013) or Birdemic: Shock and Terror (Nguyen, 2010) are fine up to a point, and some travesties from the 70’s and 80’s such as The Star Wars Holiday Special (Binder, 1978) are fantastic, my true love in this area lies with those movies from the fifties and sixties which tried and failed, such as Monster a Go-Go (Rebane, 1965), half-filmed in 1961 before the director ran out of funds and then completed four years later by a completely different director (Herschell Gordon Lewis) who had to use different actors for almost every character, or The Creeping Terror (Savage, 1964), shot without a proper monster (the fx guy stole it the day before filming because no one had paid him, so they knocked up a supercheap substitute on the day of filming), and without proper sound equipment to save costs leaving the movie narrated for the most part, or the mighty Rat Pfink a Boo-Boo (Steckler, 1966), a movie intended as a straight noir picture - and which plays as one for the entire first half of the film - but, when writer Ron Haydock wrote his characters into a corner and Steckler was running out of time and funds, they changed the whole film out of the blue into a Batman parody. Brilliant! THESE are the sort of films I find so bad that they’re actually good, and of course one such movie stands head and shoulders above all of these: The infamous Plan 9 From Outer Space (Wood jr., 1959), a movie I’ve seen so many times and love so very much, it almost doesn’t count for me any more as “bad” in any sense. I could spend the next ninety minutes rattling on about how awesome Plan 9 is, but I’d rather get the dice throw for today over with and (hopefully) just get on with watching the film!
Up against Edward D. Wood, jr. and his happy band go Sex and the City 2 (King, 2010) courtesy of my wife and the frankly awesome Robot Monster (Tucker, 1953) from my son. Come on, anyone but my wife!!
EDIT YES!!! I WIN! And remember… My friend, you have seen this incident based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn’t happen? Perhaps on your way home someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it, for they will be from outer space. Many scientists believe that another world is watching us at this moment. We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television. And now some of us laugh at outer space. God help us in the future! 
1 Like
Well exactly. That’s why everyone should’ve, could’ve and could yet join in! A fair few fellows on a football forum are playing along; only two (as far as I know) are doing every day, but plenty are joining in as/when they can. It beats the sh*t on telly, anyway. It staggers me that nobody else on a cineasts site such as this is playing along; there’d better be a better response to SpagvemberFest in seven weeks’ time, or I’m visiting every one of you personally with the rubber gloves and NO lubricant!
No lubricant? Bl**ding hell, my pick for tomorrow: Blake Edwards’s The Party (1968). Film poster by the late, great Jack Davis:
1 Like
THE PARTY
Sellers in top form:
1 Like
@last.caress baby, there are far easier ways to score points than snoring all the way through a gpod chick flick, hon 
xxx
2 Likes
Long-dormant evidence finally revealed! The truth behind the shocking present state of serious film criticism!
1 Like
Ah, my wife says hi at last. I do hope nobody accidently throws gin and lemon all over your laptop and you can’t contribute anymore; that would be awful.
2 Likes
I had to watch a double header of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 last night! I didn’t fall asleep although I did a couple of head bobs on the the second film. The most remarkable thing of all though was that I didn’t know I was going to be watching the second film until the first one had finished. A little voice in the corner of the room said “shall we put the second one on”. I made a couple of animal like noises and then agreed. They are quite short though and my pain only lasted just over 3 hours.
1 Like
L.C, you look great!..looks like you’ve gained a few “pounds” post-Brexit.
1 Like
I’ve lost weight over the last couple of years. The podgy 16st7lb I’ve been struggling with for almost a decade ballooned to 17st7lb on two separate occasions. Then throughout 2015 my weight started dropping off without my trying all that hard; well, no harder than I’d been doing for years with no joy. Last December at 15st7lb I decided to see the doc, who told me I had Type 2 Diabetes. Weight was down to 14st.7lb by February and I was feeling slightly concerned, but thankfully it levelled out and ever since I’ve been bouncing between 15st and 15st7lb.
That pic is a combination of a fucking horrible angle PLUS the sad truth that, when I gain weight, it’s only ever on the belly, but when I LOSE weight, it comes off my my arms, legs, organs, genitals etc. but NEVER my belly. To steal a line from Red Dwarf, I look like a frog that’s being held by its head. Eventually I’ll just turn into Mike from Monsters, Inc.
Fall asleep?! I’m surprised the mindbending horror of such an ordeal didn’t cause you to snap and indiscriminately attack everyone present, 28 Days Later-style. I would tolerate sitting through a dreadful film if my wife wanted to watch one of her chick-flicks, or if we were at somebody else’s house and entirely at the mercy of our hosts. It’s only polite, isn’t it? But two bumshit movies back-to-back? Eff that! I’d go full Weapon X, right in the middle of the room. My house, friend’s house, complete stranger’s house… intolerably cockwank movies KILL BRAIN CELLS at exactly the same rate as a confused, disoriented and agitated lion who’s warmly bitten into your skull like a scotch egg because you woke him up with a robust kick to the lion danglies. And that’s a medical FACT, right there.
First thing tomorrow, go to the people who put you through two f*cking Big Fat Greek Pile of Auld Twatspasm pics, look them bang in the eye and say simply, “That will never happen again. Do you understand me? You will never do that again,” with a look in your eye like you’re struggling to maintain control. Then glare right into their eyes for approx. twenty endless seconds, in total and horrifying silence (other than the sound of your teeth grinding), before turning on your heel and striding away, rapidly clenching/unclenching your fists as you go, as though it’s involuntary. 
DAY 11: I COULD QUOTE EVERY LINE
What better cinematic entertainment could there be on a sweltering, dozy, after-roast Sunday than something as easily familiar as a fluffy bath-robe, or your comfiest moccasins, or the ageing whore you’ve been visiting ever since you first flung your yoghurt? A movie you know backwards and forwards stops being a movie after awhile and starts to become something approaching an old friend. We’ve all got at least a small handful of movies which we’ve placed in this esteemed category, and the one I’m selecting today is Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Gilliam/Jones, 1975).There isn’t a line, a look, a mannerism or an act of utter silliness left in this film which hasn’t at one time or another been my favourite part of the movie (presently, my favourite line comes from Connie Booth as she protests, “I’m not a witch, I’m NOT a witch!”, moments before falling foul of the irrefutable wooden duck weight comparison test. Gets them every time).
We’ve already taken the dice throw and I won, but for the record The valiant Ser Monty Python dismembered my wife’s champion, the Good Lady Pretty Woman (Marshall, 1990) and my son’s champion, the Dark Lord Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (Kershner, 1980). Ni!
DAY 12: HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, THINK I’M GOING TO HATE IT
Well, it’s Monday which means it’s one of the “bad” categories (it IS a challenge, after all!). The pick for today needn’t be a new movie by any means, the criteria is merely that it be a movie you’ve never seen which you doubt you’re going to enjoy (I guess it would also help if your pick was a film to which you had access!). The last time I did one of these movie challenges I picked Mamma Mia! (Lloyd, 2008) for this day and it certainly met my expectations. My pick for today though is Now You See Me 2 (Chu, 2016),the sequel to the cockawful supersmug magic-'em-up Now You See Me (Leterrier, 2013), a movie so pleased with itself it would eat itself if it could, populated with the most unlikeable ensemble of smarmy grinning bumwits since… well, Mamma Mia!, I suppose.
My wife is hoping I win this one today because she really rather enjoyed the first picture. Similarly, I’m really hoping SHE wins, although I’ve stacked the deck slightly and doubled the chances of getting her pick watched, because her pick for Haven’t Seen it, Think I’m Going to HATE It Day - The Neon Demon (Refn, 2016) - is also MY pick for tomorrow’s Haven’t Seen it, Think I’m Going to LOVE It Day. My son has picked Twilight (Hardwicke, 2008) today, a movie I was hoping to swerve forever. If the wife does win, we obviously won’t be able to sit and watch The Neon Demon as a family so we’ve agreed that, whenever that possibility arises, we’ll all watch my son’s pick together that day no matter what, and the wife and I will then watch the winning movie ourselves later. So the deck’s also stacked in favour of poxy Twilight today, too! Bloody f*ckbums!
EDIT The wife won today so The Neon Demon it is, later tonight. However, no one had the stomach for Twilight and it turns out my son liked Now You See Me as well, so they’re watching NYSM2 while I see how quickly I can be bored to sleep. Good-night!
DAY 13: HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, THINK I’M GOING TO LOVE IT
My pick for today was going to be The Neon Demon (Refn, 2016) but it was also my wife’s winning pick for yesterday’s Haven’t Seen it, Think I’m Going to HATE It Day, so we watched it last night, and she hated it, and I loved it; well, maybe not loved it - not yet - but it was incredibly arresting, visually, with a better story than I’d been led to believe. I’ll be watching it again in the coming days, for sure.
So my new pick for today is going to be Free State of Jones (Ross, 2016), a US Civil War pic starring Matthew McConaughey and based loosely on the true story of Southern Unionist Newton Knight. It’s not been the best-reviewed movie on earth but it sounds like something I’d like nonetheless. Are US Civil War films also Westerns? Hm.
Up against Free State of Jones in the dice throw today goes Bridge of Spies (Spielberg, 2015) courtesy of my wife and Finding Dory (Stanton, 2016) from my boy.
EDIT Bridge of Spies won the throw. Ah well, I don’t mind having a look at that one either.
“That bear, I think, that day, decided that he had either had enough of Tim Treadwell or that something clicked in that bear’s head that he thought ‘Hey, you know, he might be good to eat.’”
DAY 14: FAVOURITE DOCUMENTARY
One of my favourite documentarians of all time - hell, one of my favourite filmmakers of all time - is Werner Herzog. From the hypnotic Fata Morgana (1972) to the grim inevitability of Into the Abyss (2011), every one of Werner’s docs which I’ve seen are fascinating (and I’ve only seen about a dozen I think, so I’ve still plenty of treasures to find). My favourite by far however - and my pick for today - is Grizzly Man (2005), the tale of the well-meaning but deluded self-styled bear conservationist Timothy Treadwell, who spent 13 Summers filming and anthropomorphizing the grizzly bears at the Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska, right up until one of the bears killed and ate him, and his girlfriend. It’s a sobering look at an already fairly broken man unwittingly thumbing his nose at nature.
The chances of a win for Grizzly Man is doubled today since my son has picked the same movie. My wife has gone for a television documentary double-bill rather than a movie but I think it all counts: If she wins, we’ll be going with The Most Hated Family in America (O’Connor, 2007) and America’s Most Hated Family in Crisis (Cooper, 2011), Louis Theroux’s two documentaries for the BBC in which he spent time amongst the Phelps family, who form almost the entire congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church. Those are excellent docs too, so it’s pretty much win/win today.
EDIT And the wife wins again. Three on the trot! I’m sacking my boy from dice-throwing duties. His bad-luck mojo (he’s only won once in fourteen throws) is rubbing off on me now!
DAY 15: FAVOURITE SEQUEL/PREQUEL
Very simple today, your nomination has to be a sequel or a prequel to some other movie (NOT a reboot, we’ve already had that day). After much wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth and changing of mind, I’ve landed on Magnum Force (Post, 1973), the fantastic first sequel to Don Siegel’s ultra-violent (at the time) Dirty Harry (1971), starring Clint Eastwood of course as the cynical and taciturn “Dirty” Harry Callahan, this time facing a quartet of sharpshooting rookie cop vigilantes.With a screenplay by John Milius and Michael Cimino, Magnum Force is credited as having been directed by Ted Post (who also directed Eastwood in the frustratingly pedestrian 1968 shooty beauty Hang 'em High), but in the intervening years Eastwood has stated that, because of creative differences, the majority of the directing duties were actually undertaken by himself and by 2nd Unit Director Buddy Van Horn. With that much pissing about you’d expect the result to be a bit of a shambles but, for me at least, Magnum Force is the best Dirty Harry picture, just narrowly from Dirty Harry itself and from second sequel The Enforcer (Fargo, 1976). Cracking score from Lalo Schifrin too, but that’s to be expected.
Up against Harry and his Smith & Wesson Model 29 today go The Dark Knight (Nolan, 2008) courtesy of my wife and, bewilderingly, The Matrix Reloaded (Wachowskis, 2003) from my son.
EDIT Wow, my son finally won another one! And of course, it’s on a day when he’s got the shittiest pick.
1 Like
Could be a good idea to rewatch all the Dirty Harries.
I always thought the third was a bit better (shorter, faster and funnier) than the second, which was of course a lot better than the way-ovelong-not-so-funny fourth and the almost cartoonish, but quite enjoyable fifth.
But who knows they all look different now
1 Like
A good idea indeed. Sudden Impact (Eastwood, 1983) and The Dead Pool (Van Horn, 1988) aren’t in the same league as the first three in my humble opinion but they’re enjoyable enough entries and they certainly have their moments (“Go ahead… make my day”, the radio-controlled toy car). Maybe I’ll do all five as some sort of all-nighter.